Current:Home > MarketsSelena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief. -TrueNorth Finance Path
Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief.
View
Date:2025-04-16 22:03:43
Selena Gomez has revealed she's unable to carry a child due to medical reasons − an experience that can cause deep grief our society often overlooks.
“I haven’t ever said this,” Gomez told Vanity Fair, in a cover story published online Monday, “but I unfortunately can’t carry my own children. I have a lot of medical issues that would put my life and the baby’s in jeopardy. That was something I had to grieve for a while.”
The 32-year-old star of "Only Murders in the Building" said she still plans on becoming a mom one day. It's just not going to happen "necessarily the way I envisioned it," she added.
“I thought it would happen the way it happens for everyone," she said. "I’m in a much better place with that. I find it a blessing that there are wonderful people willing to do surrogacy or adoption, which are both huge possibilities for me. It made me really thankful for the other outlets for people who are dying to be moms. I’m one of those people. I’m excited for what that journey will look like, but it’ll look a little different. At the end of the day, I don’t care. It’ll be mine. It’ll be my baby.”
Mourning getting pregnant is a valid grief
Grief experts previously told USA TODAY that women who discover they can't get pregnant often mourn what they thought bringing a child into the world would look like for them. Though it isn't the same as grieving the death of a loved one, it's a painful experience nonetheless.
"There's this hierarchy around what grief deserves to get mourned or get honored," said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding all forms of grief are valid.
Susan Youngsteadt, a social worker in Raleigh, North Carolina, previously opened up to USA TODAY about her experience discovering she carries a hereditary gene for breast cancer at the age of 25. As a result, she made the decision not to have biological children.
While she said she has a loving partner who is also OK with not having children, "that is something that I actively seek therapeutic support around and a community around of choosing to be childless. And some of that choice is due to my health, it is due to the risks that exist in my family system with both of my parents having a cancer diagnosis."
More:At 25 she found out she had the breast cancer gene. Now, she's grieving motherhood.
As with all forms of grief, Youngsteadt said some days are better than others.
"Sometimes it's hard to separate (the different grief experiences)," she said. "But I think something we tell people to do clinically and therapeutically is that you have to hold space for each one and take all the time you need to cry or have a ritual or seek support around each thing and let it run its own course. And then you can pick up the next thing."
Coping with grief
When it comes to grief, psychotherapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY talking could be beneficial, but not all talk will be helpful.
"When someone is grieving another type of loss, like the loss of hope after learning they can't have a child, the information might be kept private," she said. "Other people may also minimize the impact of a loss. That can slow the healing process."
My dog died two months ago.Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Grief slithers into our lives at inconvenient times. It leaves us uncomfortable and unwilling to discuss it.
"People get worried that it might be contagious," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told USA TODAY. "Like, if I hear too much about your parent dying, it doesn't mean my parent's dying soon. Is it?"
More:Selena Gomez's revealing documentary gave her freedom: 'There wasn't any hiding anymore'
Grief wasn't something Youngsteadt ever planned on. No one does.
But "the older I get, and the more grief has touched my life, I think that's where I need to be," she said. "And I think that's where I need to immerse myself. It's where I feel the most aligned. It's where I feel – it's weird to say comfortable – but it's where I really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be."
Contributing: David Oliver
veryGood! (2)
Related
- Moving abroad can be expensive: These 5 countries will 'pay' you to move there
- First victim of 1921 Tulsa massacre of Black community is identified since graves found, mayor says
- MOD Pizza has new owner after closing 44 restaurants amid bankruptcy rumors
- Watch Biden's full news conference from last night defying calls for him to drop out
- DoorDash steps up driver ID checks after traffic safety complaints
- Federal appeals court says there is no fundamental right to change one’s sex on a birth certificate
- Gypsy Rose Blanchard timeline: From her prison release to recent pregnancy announcement
- Want to improve your health? Samsung says, 'Put a ring on it!'
- New Zealand official reverses visa refusal for US conservative influencer Candace Owens
- Tobey Maguire, 49, spotted with model Lily Chee, 20: We need to talk about age gaps
Ranking
- Head of the Federal Aviation Administration to resign, allowing Trump to pick his successor
- Cover star. All-Star. Superstar. A'ja Wilson needs to be an even bigger household name.
- Appeals court makes it harder to disqualify absentee ballots in battleground Wisconsin
- How much do the winners of Wimbledon get in prize money?
- North Carolina justices rule for restaurants in COVID
- World’s first hydrogen-powered commercial ferry set to operate on San Francisco Bay, officials say
- Diana Taurasi will have 2 courts named after her at Phoenix Mercury’s new practice facility
- 1 dead, 2 missing after tour helicopter crashes off Hawaiian coast
Recommendation
2 killed, 3 injured in shooting at makeshift club in Houston
Federal appeals court says there is no fundamental right to change one’s sex on a birth certificate
Over 2,400 patients may have been exposed to HIV, hepatitis infections at Oregon hospitals
Following Cancer Alley Decision, States Pit Themselves Against Environmental Justice Efforts
Angelina Jolie nearly fainted making Maria Callas movie: 'My body wasn’t strong enough'
US Transportation Department to invest nearly $400 million for new Interstate 55 bridge in Memphis
Prosecutors in Karen Read case argue against dismissing any charges
Federal prosecutors seek 14-month imprisonment for former Alabama lawmaker